I'm officially at one month & three-days smoke-free! This has been the longest month of my life! I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it because I do. It's getting easier day by day though!
We made it through my aunt's husband's funeral at the end of April. I kept thinking to myself the whole time "wow, cigarettes put this man in this casket!" I shuttered to think what his lungs, heart & brain looked like. The thought scared me. When my dad & I got to Mattoon I went with my cousin Morgan to take her daughter to the babysitter's house. Morgan lit up a cigarette in the car & I all I could think was how bad it smelled. I've noticed that the smoke gives me a headache. It did before if there was a lot of it, but it's almost immediately as soon as I smell it now.
I met with a lady who is like my second mother this past week & when we hugged she told me I smelled really good. This made me smile & I said "it sure beats smelling like a cigarette!" It's so nice not having to go out for a smoke & miss things just to satisfy a craving. Then just to come back & stink like tobacco & nicotine!
I love my new freedom!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Another pre-mature, senseless death due to smoking
This morning at 3:52am my Aunt Connie's husband, David, lost his battle with lung cancer. He was a smoker for most of his life. Last summer he was diagnosed with lung cancer after a routine check-up. He underwent chemo & radiation & on April 13 (just two weeks ago today) the doctors sent him home to begin the dying process saying there was nothing else they could do for him. I thought he would have lasted at least another month. David is another smoking statistic.
The one thing I keep thinking to myself is what is the point in having a lung cancer patient undergo chemo & radiation when their chances of survival are slim to none. That's the thing with lung cancer; when it is discovered it's generally too far gone & too advanced for treatments to put the patient in remission & even have a chance of surviving this awful disease.
David did quit smoking when he found out he had lung cancer, but a lot of people don't quit. I really can't say I don't blame people for not quitting. I know I'd be thinking "well I'm going to die anyway so why quit now!"
I know my chances of getting lung cancer from smoking is still there, but fortunately I quit after only five and half years of smoking. I thank David because he is the one who gave me my moment of clarity to quit smoking. I didn't want to wind up dying like he did.
The one thing I keep thinking to myself is what is the point in having a lung cancer patient undergo chemo & radiation when their chances of survival are slim to none. That's the thing with lung cancer; when it is discovered it's generally too far gone & too advanced for treatments to put the patient in remission & even have a chance of surviving this awful disease.
David did quit smoking when he found out he had lung cancer, but a lot of people don't quit. I really can't say I don't blame people for not quitting. I know I'd be thinking "well I'm going to die anyway so why quit now!"
I know my chances of getting lung cancer from smoking is still there, but fortunately I quit after only five and half years of smoking. I thank David because he is the one who gave me my moment of clarity to quit smoking. I didn't want to wind up dying like he did.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Breathe in that Fresh Air!
Day #8 and feeling better and better with each passing day! I work two hours a day at an elementary school as a lunch and recess monitor & yesterday another lady I work with asked me if I wanted to start walking with her when we got off work. I said sure because it's just too nice to not do anything outside. About half-way through our walk I looked at her & said "wow! I'm not getting winded or out of breath!" "My lungs must really be clearing out faster than I thought!" Again, I felt HUGE pride in myself for quitting!
I then thought to myself "God really knew what he was doing when he made the human body." I had no idea that at Day 8 I would be able to walk distances without getting winded or out of breath!
My cravings have subsided quite a bit. Saturday was a really bad night because I found out that my one friend is moving 2,200 miles away to where our other friend lives. I felt like I was getting left behind & would be forgotten about & that set off the trigger of I want to smoke! I tweaked all night & part of Sunday, but I didn't smoke & that's the most important thing!
Believing in yourself & trusting & believing God will do things for you if you ask is having faith. I never had faith in myself or in God that I could quit smoking, but we both have amazed me! I've always had faith in God, I just need to learn to have faith in myself!
So I will continue to go on walks with Venita after work & instead of polluting my lungs & heart with carbon monoxide & nasty stuff I will put fresh air that God provides me with into my lungs & heart! My body is already thanking me for quitting!
I then thought to myself "God really knew what he was doing when he made the human body." I had no idea that at Day 8 I would be able to walk distances without getting winded or out of breath!
My cravings have subsided quite a bit. Saturday was a really bad night because I found out that my one friend is moving 2,200 miles away to where our other friend lives. I felt like I was getting left behind & would be forgotten about & that set off the trigger of I want to smoke! I tweaked all night & part of Sunday, but I didn't smoke & that's the most important thing!
Believing in yourself & trusting & believing God will do things for you if you ask is having faith. I never had faith in myself or in God that I could quit smoking, but we both have amazed me! I've always had faith in God, I just need to learn to have faith in myself!
So I will continue to go on walks with Venita after work & instead of polluting my lungs & heart with carbon monoxide & nasty stuff I will put fresh air that God provides me with into my lungs & heart! My body is already thanking me for quitting!
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Boredom & Re-training the Brain's Thinking
Day #5 of being smoke-free & it's not been a cake-walk by any means! At age 27 I've had to re-train my brain and remind myself that I no longer smoke. I got to thinking this past week that maybe one of the reasons I smoked was because I was bored. There were a few times this past week that I had nothing to do & my first impulse was to go for a cigarette. I would lean forward & after a split-second reality would hit me that I no longer smoke.
As far as the re-training my brain goes I've had to remind myself that the things I used to do while smoking, I can still do, just without the nicotine. This makes driving very difficult at times as well as meeting up with my friends who smoke. It's just going to take some getting used to. I was talking to my cousin on the phone this week and she asked what would she do while driving if she didn't smoke? I totally understand this question. I wondered the same thing. I just crank up the radio & take deep breaths of fresh air in if I have the window rolled down.
It still amazes me the little triggers that make me want to smoke. I always smoked when I would get off the phone with someone or while playing on the computer & I'm still working on reminding myself that I don't smoke when I get off the phone or while I play on the computer. Even certain theme-songs to TV shows make me want to smoke still. Today is my first day working at the radio station smoke-free & I was kind of worried how I would do because there were certain times (2pm, 3:30pm, & 4:30pm) that I would take my smoke breaks. So far, so good.
On Thursday I was with some of my friends who smoke & the smell of it was giving me such a headache that I had to leave. Sure enough, as soon as I left my headache went away! Amazing! As I was on my way to work at the radio station today I was at the stoplight waiting to turn onto Brentwood Boulevard and I smelled cigarette smoke & thought to myself "wow, that smells great! Where is that coming from?!" It was coming from a few cars behind me. This is proof that my sense of smell & taste has returned to that of a non-smoker. I didn't like the fact that I liked the smell of it, but that will take time to go away.
Last night at work the manager was giving people their breaks & she looked at me & said "go smoke, Renee." I smiled & with great pride in myself I said, "I quit on Monday!" That felt so good to say! It is such a huge accomplishment, but I know I have a long road ahead of me. I still miss the inhale of the smoke & exhaling it, but I wouldn't trade my fresh air I'm breathing in now for anything!
As far as the re-training my brain goes I've had to remind myself that the things I used to do while smoking, I can still do, just without the nicotine. This makes driving very difficult at times as well as meeting up with my friends who smoke. It's just going to take some getting used to. I was talking to my cousin on the phone this week and she asked what would she do while driving if she didn't smoke? I totally understand this question. I wondered the same thing. I just crank up the radio & take deep breaths of fresh air in if I have the window rolled down.
It still amazes me the little triggers that make me want to smoke. I always smoked when I would get off the phone with someone or while playing on the computer & I'm still working on reminding myself that I don't smoke when I get off the phone or while I play on the computer. Even certain theme-songs to TV shows make me want to smoke still. Today is my first day working at the radio station smoke-free & I was kind of worried how I would do because there were certain times (2pm, 3:30pm, & 4:30pm) that I would take my smoke breaks. So far, so good.
On Thursday I was with some of my friends who smoke & the smell of it was giving me such a headache that I had to leave. Sure enough, as soon as I left my headache went away! Amazing! As I was on my way to work at the radio station today I was at the stoplight waiting to turn onto Brentwood Boulevard and I smelled cigarette smoke & thought to myself "wow, that smells great! Where is that coming from?!" It was coming from a few cars behind me. This is proof that my sense of smell & taste has returned to that of a non-smoker. I didn't like the fact that I liked the smell of it, but that will take time to go away.
Last night at work the manager was giving people their breaks & she looked at me & said "go smoke, Renee." I smiled & with great pride in myself I said, "I quit on Monday!" That felt so good to say! It is such a huge accomplishment, but I know I have a long road ahead of me. I still miss the inhale of the smoke & exhaling it, but I wouldn't trade my fresh air I'm breathing in now for anything!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Lies the Marlboro Man tells me
As I write this, I'm approaching 50-hours smoke-free & today was especially difficult! At this point in time, all the nicotine is completely out of my system, my lung function has increased by 30%, my chances of having a heart attack has dropped and my sense of taste & smell has returned to that of a non-smoker. Not to mention there is no longer any carbon monoxide in my system & oxygen levels are back to normal. Yesterday & today, however, I've had a hard time breathing. I can take in deep breaths, but it almost feels as though I'm still smoking. Maybe it's just my lungs beginning to get rid of the debris & garbage smoking left behind. I am starting to cough up some stuff (not to get disgusting, but it's a good thing it's happening)!
As I mentioned, today was difficult! I feel better that I've now passed the 48-hour mark, but today I wanted a cigarette so bad. I prayed for God to remove the desire & He did, but then the Marlboro Man came knocking on my door, hence the title of this blog....the lies he tells me. I thought to myself "I could just have one, one won't hurt me." "I could keep smoking, but cut way down to like three-six a day." "I've smoked this long, what's the point in quitting now!" These are all lies the disease of smoking tells me to keep me in its clutch! I'm stronger than a cigarette & I will defeat this!
My parents came in to Lonestar today to see me & my mom kept asking me: "have you slipped any? Did you cheat at all?" When I said no, she would ask if I was sure. She asked me a couple of times & I can't blame her for asking. She's seen me try to quit twice before & fail at it. This time I'm serious! I was doing some side-work before I left work tonight & was by the door that goes out to the back where people smoke. The General Manager walked out the door, but kept it open as she lit a cigarette to ask me a question. There was someone else smoking out there too. The smell of it made me want to gag! And to look at someone actually put those toxins in their body was a shock to me. All I could see were dollar signs burning up & two lungs & a heart begging for the torture to end!
I've been able to sleep wonderfully since I quit & I know this will get easier. By tomorrow at this time I will have passed the 72-hour mark & that will make me feel so much better! I know there will be tough days ahead, but I know I'm strong enough to defeat the Marlboro Man & all his lies!
As I mentioned, today was difficult! I feel better that I've now passed the 48-hour mark, but today I wanted a cigarette so bad. I prayed for God to remove the desire & He did, but then the Marlboro Man came knocking on my door, hence the title of this blog....the lies he tells me. I thought to myself "I could just have one, one won't hurt me." "I could keep smoking, but cut way down to like three-six a day." "I've smoked this long, what's the point in quitting now!" These are all lies the disease of smoking tells me to keep me in its clutch! I'm stronger than a cigarette & I will defeat this!
My parents came in to Lonestar today to see me & my mom kept asking me: "have you slipped any? Did you cheat at all?" When I said no, she would ask if I was sure. She asked me a couple of times & I can't blame her for asking. She's seen me try to quit twice before & fail at it. This time I'm serious! I was doing some side-work before I left work tonight & was by the door that goes out to the back where people smoke. The General Manager walked out the door, but kept it open as she lit a cigarette to ask me a question. There was someone else smoking out there too. The smell of it made me want to gag! And to look at someone actually put those toxins in their body was a shock to me. All I could see were dollar signs burning up & two lungs & a heart begging for the torture to end!
I've been able to sleep wonderfully since I quit & I know this will get easier. By tomorrow at this time I will have passed the 72-hour mark & that will make me feel so much better! I know there will be tough days ahead, but I know I'm strong enough to defeat the Marlboro Man & all his lies!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Day #1
So this is day #1 of my not smoking and I must say, it's been much easier than what I thought it would be. I know that is because I've kept in contact with God and asked him to remove the desire to smoke from me & he has. God is truly wonderful!
My decision to stop smoking was really an impulse decision. My Aunt Connie's husband, David, was diagnosed with lung cancer in the summer of 2009. He was a smoker, but quit when he was diagnosed with cancer. He went through Chemo & Radiation, but it didn't really do much to help him. Doctors are giving him two-three months to live. My mom sent me an email telling me the doctors time-table for his life & something hit me at that moment. I looked at the pack of cigarettes sitting on the coffee table & looked at the cigarette I just put out and thought to myself "what am doing?!" Last fall, at my Aunt Vickie's funeral, my Aunt Connie would tell me, "Renee, you should see all those lung cancer patients at the hospital where David gets his treatments and see how much pain they're in." I must admit, that did scare me. The good thing is that I only smoked for five and a half years so by quitting now, my chances of getting lung cancer, heart disease, emphysema, etc. goes way down!
When I decided to quit I took the full pack of cigarettes along with the half-pack I had, went to the backyard and tore them up and threw them in the small wooded area behind my house.
I'm only at the very beginning of my smoke-free journey so I don't have a lot to say right now. I'm almost at 24-hours & can't wait until the 72-hours is up! Breaking up with the Marlboro Man was the best thing I could have done for myself.
My decision to stop smoking was really an impulse decision. My Aunt Connie's husband, David, was diagnosed with lung cancer in the summer of 2009. He was a smoker, but quit when he was diagnosed with cancer. He went through Chemo & Radiation, but it didn't really do much to help him. Doctors are giving him two-three months to live. My mom sent me an email telling me the doctors time-table for his life & something hit me at that moment. I looked at the pack of cigarettes sitting on the coffee table & looked at the cigarette I just put out and thought to myself "what am doing?!" Last fall, at my Aunt Vickie's funeral, my Aunt Connie would tell me, "Renee, you should see all those lung cancer patients at the hospital where David gets his treatments and see how much pain they're in." I must admit, that did scare me. The good thing is that I only smoked for five and a half years so by quitting now, my chances of getting lung cancer, heart disease, emphysema, etc. goes way down!
When I decided to quit I took the full pack of cigarettes along with the half-pack I had, went to the backyard and tore them up and threw them in the small wooded area behind my house.
I'm only at the very beginning of my smoke-free journey so I don't have a lot to say right now. I'm almost at 24-hours & can't wait until the 72-hours is up! Breaking up with the Marlboro Man was the best thing I could have done for myself.
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